Q:

Would you go on an in-person date with me?

A:

It’s not outside of the realm of possibility, but there are several logistical items that we’d have to be on the same page about. If you’re curious, email me.

Q:

Where are you from? Do you speak other languages?

A:

I am American. I grew up on both the West and East Coast and have lived in California, Washington, Virginia, and New York. I primarily speak English, though I spoke some Mandarin growing up with my Taiwanese grandmother. My father is Korean, I don’t speak the language. I studied Spanish and Spanish-language literature in college. I also studied Portuguese, French, Japanese, and Ancient Greek (a little). Now I reside in Brooklyn, NY. I hope to live in Manhattan in the future, and possibly for the rest of my life.

Q: How can I get to know you better?

A: The reality is that the best way to get to know me is to come to my streams. You can also email me or DM me on OnlyFans. I tend to be receptive to answering various questions, but I often experience it as tiring to be asked a question by someone I don’t know anything about. If you want to get to know me, try flipping the question around: How can I get to know you better?

Once I know a little more about you, I’ll be more receptive to entering into a conversation, rather than an interview. I’m often curious about the work you do, your relationships with other people, and the music you listen to.

Q:

How do you think about the ethics of sex work, on the client side? In other words, does a good life, for your client, involve paying you for sexual services?

A:

As a client, you should feel the pressure of the expense as a boon for thinking about why this is important to you and what you hope to come away with after each encounter. If I determine that it’s worth seeing you in private, I want to be a participant in your pursuit of your desires. Pursuing your desires and having them satisfied but not permanently satisfied by a real person, I think, can free up a lot of energy, making you more engaged in other areas of your life that matter. I’d also like to help you think differently about your wants and needs, so that the stuckness associated with repetitive patterns (whether it be something that you feel is stuck or wrong with respect to your sexuality, and specifically with respect to the use of pornography or sexual services) can be modified.

Q:

What motivated you to start camming? Is this a short-term or long-term thing? Do you have another profession? How does it actually feel to cam regularly?

A:

During the pandemic, when I was far more isolated, I would watch models on CB to decompress at the end of the day. Beyond the immediate horniness this triggered in me, I found myself admiring and interested in the work the women did and in how the crowd interacted with them. I also loved the token sound.

I was a graduate student with a stipend, busy writing and teaching, and I was a man with little concern for sexual attention. About four years later I found myself in the position of taking on contract work as a college admissions essay tutor as I pursued post-graduate training to practice psychoanalysis in NYC.

The contract work I took on was frustrating to me, and I have found that my interest in creative writing has overtaken any remaining desire I have to complete my dissertation and/or pursue an academic career. One weekend, while writing about a certain sexual proclivity of mine, I became really aroused and decided to go on CB. I found it enjoyable and was happy with the money I was making, so I continued. Since then, it hasn’t always been easy, but I’ve been learning that taking breaks and showing up with energy and a good smirk on my face makes it a little new and still exciting each time I do a broadcast.

The psychoanalytic training I’m in will take three-and-a-half more years for me to complete. I’m planning to use this journey in sex work to both fund my life (on a meager and basic level, so I can afford rent, out-of-pocket health expenses, and educational expenses, and hopefully move into a studio or one-bedroom), and to explore the different form of social work that camming sometimes is.

Q:

Can you say more about your detransition, and transition?

A:

Yeah, in most cursory terms, I was born female, and was boyish as a child, perhaps in part due to my mother’s influence; she wanted a boy, and often spoke negatively about femininity. In middle and high school I felt upset with pubertal changes to my body and uncomfortable with my position as a girl, especially when I started dating boys in high school. I discovered the possibility of being trans, and began to identify as a boy when I was 16. At the age of 18, I got a prescription for testosterone, which I continued to take until the July of 2022.

Between 2019 and 2022 I slowly fell in love, hard, with a classmate from high school who had known me first as a girl, and who struck up a rather lovely email and letter-based correspondence with me years later. My desire for him led me to feel, on a raw and sexual and intuitive level, a new sense of self as female, and several months into my first analysis, I made the decision to detransition. I detransitioned in part to act on my desire to consummate a sexual relationship with him, but also to see what it would be like to date other men as a woman.

Taking testosterone made me fairly serious, studious, and isolated, as well as somewhat restless, and highly motivated to exercise, which involved lifting, running, and cycling. I was more motivated to masturbate and look at porn, but had less of a sense of self as sexual, and far less developed sexual fantasies. It also made me leaner, hairier, and enlarged my clitoris and deepened my voice. When I stopped taking testosterone, I felt a drop in energy and often felt quite sleepy. I did laser hair removal to get rid of the hair on my face and have since used an IPL machine to reduce hair growth on my legs. I get cold more easily.

Psychologically, I feel very happy and intellectually stimulated, being a woman. My raw sex drive isn’t as urgent or consistent as it was when I was male, but my sense of interest in pursuing sexual experiences is far higher. I feel less inhibited in a lot of ways. However I do still get sleepy more easily, and am less motivated to engage in intense or extreme physical exertion than I was when I was male.

Q:

Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? What’s your type?

A:

I’ve been largely non-monogamous for the last three years, but I’m primarily seeing one lover at this time. I guess camming and working as an analyst has reduced my interest in discovering new men to date or hook up with casually. My physical “type” varies, but I seem to be attracted to people with sharp, rough, or angular physical characteristics. But the most truthful answer would be that I’m most attracted to anyone who resembles someone I’ve been attracted to before. I’m also drawn to men who have a bit of a submissive streak, or who are beautiful enough to elicit in me the fantasy of mutilating or damaging the surface of their skin. I don’t have experience with dating any avowed masochists because I don’t like the idea of gratifying a masochist for free. But I’m interested in being a domme to someone who would pay me for it and whom I like.